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What Makes a Happy Marriage?

on April 4, 2019

Is a satisfying marriage a mirage? Can two sinners?not to mention offspring!?live in close proximity and intimacy and be truly happy? It is possible, with work and wisdom. In Christian Marriage: A Comprehensive Introduction, David J. Ayers offers some guidelines for the pursuit of a fulfilling marriage. These are presented below as bullet point summaries, but each point is expanded upon in the book.

Good Marriages Start with God

  • Put God first. The center of every godly marriage is relationship with God.
  • Forgive one another. The degree to which loving our spouse involves giving and receiving grace as we walk together will inform our perceptions and deepen our love.
  • Find unity in your faith. Share in church involvement, common faith, and prayer.

Good Marriages Develop Good Habits

  • Be radically committed. A basic condition for marital success is to be radically committed to the union itself, in good times and bad.
  • Build fences around romantic and sexual temptation. Adultery is a serious danger, and we do well to treat it with all the gravity, care, and attention it deserves.
  • Establish godly financial priorities. A couple?s budget and expenditures are a window into their hearts.
  • Pursue good communication and conflict management. These are key to establishing and maintaining a warm, enjoyable, supportive, effective, interpersonal relationship.
  • Maintain trust. A trusting relationship can only come through consistent and continual honesty
  • Have frequent sex. Believers should make this as much an object of prayer and seeking wisdom as every other area of their marital relationship.

Good Marriages Pursue Wisdom

  • Be realistic about the effects of having children. When a couple has children, care for their spouse and offspring calls them to higher levels of demanding service and sacrifice then marriage alone may require.
  • Be agreed upon the pursuit of paid employment. Couples should agree on how they will meet the financial needs of the family and who will pursue paid work.
  • Share work around the house. Both husbands and wives are happier in their marriages when they equally share the work around the house.
  • Pursue supportive social networks. It is important to have friends and family behind one?s marriage.
  • Spend time with family. Quality time with one?s spouse and children is essential and will likely require intention, effort, and creativity.

There is no secret recipe to a great marriage. All good marriages require well-placed effort. Pursuing healthy priorities, habits, and wisdom will go a long way towards marital success.

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  • God’s Mission Is on Every Page of ScriptureGod’s Mission Is on Every Page of Scripture
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